literature

SasukexReader: A Change in the Heart Prologue

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cloudwolfanime's avatar
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Literature Text

(y/n) - Your name
(l/n) - Last name


You were just five years old at the time. You were walking around your home, the Hidden Leaf Village by yourself. While you were walking, you saw a dark haired boy that was about your age and a older boy that the exact replica of the younger boy but had longer hair. They seem to be brothers.

The younger boy whines, "Please stay for a few more minutes." His brother chuckles and replies, "I can't but how 'bout I take you to go eat ramen later to make it up to you?" The younger boy thinks about it for a bit then nods. The older boy smiles and pats his brother's head and says, "See you later." Then, he rushes off.

The young boy sighs sadly and stares at the ground. You walk over to the boy. He doesn't seem to notice you walking over to him and jumped when you said hi. You chuckle and asks, "What's your name?" The boy stares at you then shyly replies, "I'm Uchiha Sasuke..." "Wow! A Uchiha! I'm (l/n)(y/).", you exclaimed. Sasuke looks at you in surprised and exclaims, "You're a (l/n)! Does that mean that you can change into a wolf with dragon wings and control a element?" You nod and reply, "Well not yet anyway... I can change into a pup but no wings and I can't control a element yet."

"Hey. You want to be friends?", you ask Sasuke. Sasuke smiles and nods. You smile back at him and say, "Come on, let's go to the playground!" You grab his hand and rush over to the playground. Sasuke blushes a little when you grab his hand and follows you.
So I'm writing a SasukexReader cuz like I've been reading those a lot lately and wanted to write one. So anyways... Hope you like it! This is my first xReader story as you can see! I hope that I did okay :D

Next --> cloudwolfwarrior.deviantart.co…

Story © Me
Any Naruto Characters © Masashi Kishimoto
You © You
Sasuke fan art © kivi1230 kivi1230.deviantart.com/art/Sa…
Cover © www.quotev.com/albeestar
© 2013 - 2024 cloudwolfanime
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ElderxChildx6's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Impact

This is quite good. The image is there and the idea that you have going for it seems interesting enough.^^

The only issue that I am seeing is how you are writing it. When a person talks, it is usually a new paragraph. Seeing talking from multiple people in a paragraph seems like a clustered mess that would leave most readers confused.

It should be more like this:

"Blah blah blah," said the girl with red hair. Her eyes looking up at the brown haired boy.

"Blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah," the boy replied. Giving the red-head a warm smile.


It helps the reader pay attention to who's talking.^^ Makes it easier to stay focused. Other than that, I see no real issue with this story, at all.^^ Very nice work. I hope to see more.